since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
