Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
