Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize