Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Randomize
