i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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