I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
