My brain says no but my pants say off.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
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Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
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You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.