Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.

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(612): I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy. http://tfl.nu/yhkq

Replies (23) Good night (3369) Bad night (1582)
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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.

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(709): I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again. http://tfl.nu/ujyy

Replies (19) Good night (5847) Bad night (622)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.

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(832): Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me. http://tfl.nu/ewf1

Replies (26) Good night (4182) Bad night (1068)
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(303): View more from Colorado

At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.

(1-303): View more from Colorado

At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.

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(303): At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends. (1-303): At about the same time you guys weren't burritos. http://tfl.nu/mxci

Replies (27) Good night (7989) Bad night (890)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on

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(803): I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on http://tfl.nu/5tgi

Replies (43) Good night (9602) Bad night (1020)
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(313): View more from Michigan

Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice

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(313): Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice http://tfl.nu/wuko

Replies (11) Good night (3302) Bad night (1006)
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(518): View more from New York

I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.

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(518): I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son. http://tfl.nu/kmmn

Replies (5) Good night (4692) Bad night (991)
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(530): View more from California

I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big

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(530): I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big http://tfl.nu/j8o0

Replies (8) Good night (1331) Bad night (437)
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(949): View more from California

So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?

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(949): So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right? http://tfl.nu/9g1d

Replies (13) Good night (1409) Bad night (915)
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(407): View more from Florida

Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?

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(407): Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy? http://tfl.nu/b8mt

Replies (3) Good night (1832) Bad night (843)
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(916): View more from California

We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate

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(916): We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate http://tfl.nu/nz9m

Replies (6) Good night (1757) Bad night (392)
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(562): View more from California

Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.

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(562): Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight. http://tfl.nu/c5kp

Replies (4) Good night (745) Bad night (404)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.

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(570): Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM. http://tfl.nu/zh91

Replies (0) Good night (472) Bad night (242)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low

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(781): Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low http://tfl.nu/5e2c

Replies (2) Good night (246) Bad night (374)
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(513): View more from Ohio

she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck

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(513): she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck http://tfl.nu/n7bl

Replies (4) Good night (1285) Bad night (250)

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