Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I will be naked everywhere
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.