So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
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