Texts From Last Night

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  (305): View more from Florida

  I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B

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  (305): I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B http://tfl.nu/epjn
  Replies (35) Good night (1226) Bad night (3557)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.

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  (828): God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you. http://tfl.nu/4g7v
  Replies (25) Good night (3626) Bad night (1062)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf

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  (512): everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf http://tfl.nu/ndyg
  Replies (26) Good night (922) Bad night (5465)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.

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  (334): He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning. http://tfl.nu/odgl
  Replies (58) Good night (16826) Bad night (3857)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.

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  (520): She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist. http://tfl.nu/mma2
  Replies (35) Good night (4657) Bad night (1445)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.

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  (913): Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move. http://tfl.nu/e9ea
  Replies (6) Good night (4915) Bad night (1018)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.

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  (503): There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to. http://tfl.nu/acu8
  Replies (7) Good night (2182) Bad night (1108)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.

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  (912): Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here. http://tfl.nu/xdo1
  Replies (9) Good night (2428) Bad night (1155)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.

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  (239): allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee. http://tfl.nu/rbdo
  Replies (5) Good night (787) Bad night (1504)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there

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  (215): i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there http://tfl.nu/r3g3
  Replies (9) Good night (849) Bad night (2580)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.

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  (337): Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex. http://tfl.nu/wf1h
  Replies (11) Good night (746) Bad night (2509)
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  (949): View more from California

  When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless

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  (949): When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless http://tfl.nu/xa8r
  Replies (7) Good night (1513) Bad night (851)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.

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  (+44): I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning. http://tfl.nu/asao
  Replies (4) Good night (442) Bad night (307)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism

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  (516): it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism http://tfl.nu/zkif
  Replies (2) Good night (561) Bad night (276)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here

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  (256): What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here http://tfl.nu/buva
  Replies (1) Good night (812) Bad night (186)

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