Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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