Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
