i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Randomize