Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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