Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
