Rock
Scissors
Fuck
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
