I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Randomize
