yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
