watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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