alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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