i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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