u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
