Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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