i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
