Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
