your thong is hanging out like whoa
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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