Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
