Sober January is a disaster.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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