Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize