am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
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I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
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I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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