Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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