I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
A+ Viking dick
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
