I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize