Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I will pee on everything he values.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
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