I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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