my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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