so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
