Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
