when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
