Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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