i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you would pick up someone in the library
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
