Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
