Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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