I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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