Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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