Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
