You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
