this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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