Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
