she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
