saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
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