i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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