It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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