At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Betty ford says i'm here all night
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
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You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
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This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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