Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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