She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
