It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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