Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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