I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
