Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
