Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
