Me too!
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
