Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
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